Sometimes it doesn't matter where the train is going... what matters is deciding to get on.

lol... so yeah. How's life these days you might ask? It is good I guess. Classes are classes.... midterms were tough... projects are starting. Friends are doing awesome. We have a bike gang now... kinda like those bike gangs you see in 4th or 5th grade. We ride around campus at like 1 am. It is fun. I've lost a little bit of wait (like 5 pounds or a little more) and am hoping to lose a lot more. I got a new phone... the LG Chocolate. It rocks... my socks... off. I love it in every way. My new computer is faring ok. I still haven't gotten to replacing the motherboard... yeah yeah... the problem is that I really have no specific weekday where I can afford to sit down and spend anywhere from 1 to 3 hours troubleshooting it over the phone. Anyway, other than that the computer is doing ok What else to talk about? I am mentally doing great. I really kinda like where I am at personalitywise and whatnot. I mean, I guess these past couple weeks I have had some time to do some reflection on who I am a bit, and even though I can still point out a lot of my faults... I really do think I am a genuinely good guy. I had a conversation with my friend the other night that really kinda got me thinking deep. Now, I want you to do something... and this might be a pretty scary sounding thing at first, but I promise this is a good reflection to do.

 

People always wonder who their true friends are... or always wonder if anyone really cares about them... you know... thoughts like that. Well, let's think of a couple scenarios. I want you to close your eyes and imagine that it is 2:30 am. You are alone in your car, parked on the side of 95... Your car has broke down... it is night and you aren't on a very lighted section of 95. You are nowhere near any of your friends... the closest one being an hour away. Who do you call for help? Who could you really call with knowledge that they might actually come help? Which of your friends would actually get up and drive an hour to you to help... at 2:30 in the morning? Not a very long list is it? If it is then you are a very luck person. In fact, if you can pull off 3 or more names I'd say you're lucky.

 

So that is a way of really kinda figuring out who would really be there for you in a time of slight emergency. Now we come to the question everyone has probably thought about. Who would care if I die? Now, that does sound pretty "I am depressed and want to kill myself" but it isn't. It really can be good in terms of seeing who your friends are if you just sit there and kind of play out a mental run down of what would happen after you died if for whatever reason you died today. For instance, who would immediately break down upon hearing the news? Who would immediately jump in a car and drive any distance just to be with your family. Who would curse the heavens and scream as tears ran down there face, accusing God of being a careless god who would kill off a friend so undeserving of a young death? I know that from a certain viewpoint this can seem pretty crazy wierd or like what those crazy emo kids think about... but seriously... think about it. How many people would really be affected by your death? Sometimes the numbers can be surprising. I think most of you will find that your numbers will be a little bit higher than you thought. Especially on the going to the funeral part. Now for the "cursing god and the heavens part" or the "breaking down part" you might see some lower numbers... but that's ok.

 

I think that these thought processes are good ways of analyzing who your friends really are, and then, if any friend didn't do what you wanted them to do, you can then work on your friendship in real life so that you can then asure yourself that they care equally as much as you. Anyway, that was pretty deep. Lets think of some happy stuff. Tropical whether... white sandy beaches... clear water... a group of dolphins singing to you about the end of the world... oh wait... let's try again. It is a beautifuul forest... trees that look older than time itself. Trees that moan and seem to talk to you... orcs and urakai chopping down the trees on the edge of the forrest to feed the fires of industry and evil... oh wait... that didn't work. Oh well. So how is that for a post? I hope I have helped a couple people to deeper understand themselves and/or their relationships with their friends. Now go out there and make a difference in the world. Live life and know that happiness is everywhere around you, even when you think the whole world exists to hate you. Ok. Back to work it is for me.

 

This whole 'buying the new computer parts and building a computer' thing has been a tiring process, but luckily, from what I can tell, we are near the finish line... I can't wait to get it up and running and playing games and whatnot.
I am going to an airshow this weekend (Saturday). It will be a 3 hour drive to VA Beach... 3 hours there, 3 hours back. that should be pretty kickass. Lots of jets and what not cruising above us looking cool. it is apparently the last air show to include an F 15 (I may be wrong on that... it might be the F 14... Eric told me but I can't remember) since they are retiring the plane. So that will be kinda neat.
That is all I guess. Other than work and the new computer, I haven't done much of anything exciting or wierd.

Jason

Imagine the one thing you want most right now. It can be a person, or a thing. But just think about it. Now imagine, that the thing you want most... that one thing... is actually within your grasp now. You can actually get it. The one thing you want above all others, is actually there and within your reach... now imagine that you are going to get it... but you just have to wait 24 hours. 24 hours and your greatest want will be fulfilled. Yeah... that's how I feel right now. My computer parts come tomorrow. Yeah. I know... I am a geek. Whatever. So life is ok. I made a few mistakes this past week. Some bigger that others. The week and weekend have been ok. This whole shipping thing with my computer has kept me constantly excited and pissed off all the time. Add in that I made some mistakes over the week, and know that the weekend has really kinda been a "just hurry up and finish damnit, so that it will be Tuesday, and I can have something to be really happy about". Anyway, I have a busy day to get started on, so everyone have a great monday.

Jason

So as I referred to in my last post, I recently decided to buy the parts needed to build a new computer. let me tell you about this fiasco. My billing address is different from my shipping address. This is the way it will always be, since my card is registered for my home address, but I ship to my college address. Because of this, when I first made the purchase tuesday evening, the order got red flagged. Because of the flag, they were going to have to do an investigation that could take up to 30 days. So, I being the impatient one, I decide to cancel the order, change my billing info to match my shipping info and try again the next morning. Same thing happens. I call them up, and a lady helps me and it turns out my phone numbers did not match. After fixing that I finally was able to purchase the parts by around 2ish on Wednesday. I opted for a rushed service and for a 2 day UPS delivery service. Let me tell you about those... The rush service, which was supposed to get my order through faster, didn't work. My order wasn't confirmed until Thursday morning around 11:30 am. Then, it was shipped out (or so it said) by 12:30. What actually happened, according to the UPS package tracking, is that by 12:30 they had been electronically notified of the package. That's all. The package hasn't actually gone anywhere. Now, had things gone the way they should have, I'd be getting my parts today (Friday). However, thanks to Neweggs horrible processing time, my package that should be coming 2 day mail, won't arrive until 5 days from now. You see, according to new egg, they don't deliver on saturdays or sundays. They also don't ship on holidays, which is understandable. The point, however, is that I am now forced to wait 5 days to get a package that I payed an etra $30 for to be shipped and here in 2 days. It should have been processed faster and shipped out faster, but no. This really pisses me off. I just waisted the 20 more that I spent for 2 day shipping, cause you see basic shipping would have takin 3 days, and would thus get here on wednesday. 2 day would get here tuesday. This really sucks, cause the whole purpose of me selecting 2 day was to assure I got it by Friday. I hate the mail, and I hate GMU Mail services.

Today has been a generally ok day... nothing insanely good happened, most of the day was just a day... but a couple bad things happened (mainly the computer shit)... so I am in a sour mood. Hopefully God will smile upon my package and have it arrive tomorrow, though I am sure he has better things to do. I hope tomorrow is a better day.

Ok. So... I don't do xanga... or myspace... because I guess I feel like posting on this leads to drama... or whatnot... but I think I might start posting again... for my own sake.

Hmm... what's new? Well, I am a Junior.5 at GMU. I took some summer courses and got a B+, B, and a B-. That was good, considering I have never been one for grades to be proud of. I am now taking 5 classes this fall... hopefully they won't be too tough. I moved into an on campus apartment with 3 of my buds (one of which being my room mate from last year). It has been a blast so far. Our apartment, though it might not be very awesome, is going to be ok. We are going to make it awesome. We bought a 20' tv and some kitchen stuff so I think we are working into getting it where we want it. I am gonna put posters up tomorrow.

What else... I am attempting to get into a work out routine to lose weight. It is a slow start, but I am hoping to get it into a habit. I am displeased with the way I look so I figure I will try to change it. Try and look a bit more attractive. Speaking of which, I might be getting lasic surgery sometime in January. It isn't a definate, but it is a good possibility. I hope I get it... the thought of waking up in the morning and seeing is an awesome though... something people take for granted.

Love life is the way it has been... I am attracted to 1 or 2 people... but they are people I don't think I could ever have a chance with. I am open for dating though... and would welcome it happily... so hopefully God has something planned for me there... but whatever... I have become a bit more comfortable with being single, so it won't be the end of my world if a relationship is not in my near future. I helped someone in a relationship the other day. That made me feel really good. I always am happy for others surrounding me who are in relationships... and I think I am the kind of guy who will be there for someone when something goes wrong or when they need help in a relationship.I guess it is my way of making up for the lack of my own relationship to work on.

I saw Nausica, Valley of the Wind the other week. What a great movie. (I know this spelling is wrong but I am too lazy to look it up) Meehazaki is a great story teller. I enjoy all his movies. I also have started rewatching .Hack//Sign which is a favorite of mine. I am playing Final Fantasy VII: Dirge of Cerberus and Drakengard 2 right now. DofC is really good so far. I am really enjoying it. D 2 is ok... better than 1 in someways, but worse in others.

I just bought all the parts I am going to rebuild my computer with today. They look like awesome stuff and I am so excited about it. I am like a kid about to get a new  lego set. It is geeky... but it is me. So hopefully my computer will be really awesome when we build it.

In all honesty I think that is it tonight. It is 2:27 am... I am tired, and have to be at work at 10:00 am. Thanks for reading, the few of you that do. Until next I write...

Jason

the last time i posted in this it talks of how much i liked Corey... its been a while... 

And so begins the week of exams. I can only hope they go well. 

Yeah.... Ginormous Life Affirming Jumblies....

Pastor Jason's Nunnery

so I know this is a post that is relaly close to my last one but I just thoguht I'd say that I feel really good this morning. I had an EXCELLENT dream. I have not had a good dream in so long. I feel excellent. I am talking to Corey right now. She is driving home in a couple hours. Right now, while we talk, all I can think of is how much I want her to say, "You should come home too". I'd do it. In a heartbeat... I wanna see her so bad. I hate it. It is driving me insane. She hasn't said it yet, and we are saying goodbye. Oh well... such is the story of my life. So I am still happy, and I just finished listening to the last song on the Star Wars Episode III The Revenge of the Sith Soundtrack. I am gonna go do laundry. Later.,